It has long been believed that squirrels bury their nuts for winter. On interviewing Sir Douglas Pine from the Trantford Woods, it turns out not quite to be the case any longer.
Treetoppers new Minister of Finance Douglas Pine, met with me today to discuss the new trends hitting their nation.
Douglas has been explaining the recent changes in the Sciuridae fiscal policies. Apparently in the good old days when Froggies went a ridin' and Sir S. Nutkin was leading the treetoppers nation,
|Archive Footage of A Squitler|
Squirrels everywhere have been heavily investing in the latest banking system . New high tree branches are opening everywhere giving peace of mind and security. With APR of 2 gymnosperm per 10 botanical seeds you would be insane not to invest states Douglas. However his radical move may have brought financial abundance to some, but others have found less ethical ways of using the system.
A recent court hearing found one such squirrel (whose name cannot be disclosed for legal reasons) flagrantly embezzling a Mr D. Ligent, 85 of Oak Tree Way. Whilst Mr D Ligent worked hard every day to save for winter, he would explain to Mr X that winter was indeed coming and Mr X need to invest in the new banking system. However, it was later discovered that Mr X was not investing at all, instead he was laking about, feet up doing nothing. Then when the winter months arrived, it was since been exposed Mr X had been posing as an invalid squirrel, embezzling most of Mr D Ligents savings. Mr X was found guilty of impersonating a lazy person, fraud, and other bad stuff and he has been sentenced to 5 years, in this single cell with 24 hour lock down. The SPD (squirrel police department) are claiming this is a one off incident and crime is still at an all time low.
|The squirrelous Mr X in prison|
So, it looks like the latest upturn in banking is indeed teaching the rest of the world, put your nuts in a safe place and never let a miscreant fiddle with you.
Thank you. This is L R Ridinghood wishing you all a good evening and hoping your nuts are not being fiddled tonight.