Learning A New Language by a Noniglot

It is fair to say that unlike my sister-in-law who who is a polyglot and speaks fluent English (oh, she's German by the way), French, Spanish, German (obvs) and some others I can't recall, I am a noniglot.  I glot in no other tongue but the mother, and for me that is English (I am figuring that you guessed that bit).
Something else I should hasten to point out here is I have a memory that even Dory, from Finding Nemo, would be flipped on one side, holding her fishy tummy and gaffawing with much fishy gusto at.  Another way of looking at it is, I am crap at learning stuff.

With all your new garnered knowledge about me in hand picture this . . . a memory free zone embarking upon the uptake of a new language, for this is indeed what is going on in my life right now.

It all came about rather suddenly when my daughter shouted up at me (I am not remarkably tall, my office is upstairs):

"Hey Mum, why don't you have a look at the site 'Memrise' to learn Spanish"

(what makes that last sentence even more poignant is that I just had to look to my toolbar to recall the name of the site *sigh*).

Off my fingers happily trotted to embark on my new journey.  My theory behind this is, not only will I learn words in another language but also increase my unabundant memory.  Skill plus skill equals . . I'm sorry I've forgotten what on earth my thread was there.  

It is now week 2 and according to the site I have learned nearly 200 words out of the 400 it has desperately been trying to velco firmly to the sides in of my medial temporal lobe (memory bit of the brain) valiantly fighting to make them all stick (I reckon by next week there will be some superglue wishfully arriving by post).  

Admittedly I am enjoying myself no end.  However, my computer is learning a whole new litany of swear words before this time had no idea I could string so many together. Also, I have to say a huge "Sorry" to any Spaniards out there, but I have been incredibly rude about your language, and told my computer in no uncertain terms that some things are just "fucking stupid".  This is only because of my lack of patience/understanding/memory/knowledge and I am sure in a years time I will look back at this time with un poco de cafe in my hand and wistfully remember the time it was teaching me to learn the term 'turn right' (da vuelta a la derecha) with a smile on my face and a giggle, but, right now I just screech at my screen  . . . a lot and vainly hope that one day I will not have to ask Rob how to say it!

It is quite interesting how the above mentioned site views the words we English need to know.  Let's put it this way in week one I became a dab hand at asking for a small beer, wine and a cup of coffee, then at saying "that is too expensive".  Now I am learning how to get directions to the hotel, the party and finally the hospital . . . too many English abroad methinks.  Rob and I are pondering whether next week we will learn "I think I have sun stroke", "what the fuck are you looking at", "there is sand in my bits", "it wasn't the booze it was something I ate" and "where did I park my donkey?" .

So, for any of you noniglots (new word Oxford English, you may use it)out there I say this.  HOLA! Go and find one of these free sites and give it a whirl.  Too long have we all circumnavigated this globe with our only means of conversation being to talk slowly and loudly, whilst gesticulating wildly with our hands and then tutt at the natives of the land as we laugh at Johnny Foreigner and their inability to speak English.  Ignorant bloody lot that we are! (well, most of us!)

Until next year I will just say ADIOS AMIGOS!  And here's to me adding just one glot at a time.

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