Fascism In Food

I have not been playing out in the arena of fitness for long.  Most people my age (40 something's) have either kept up their athleticism from their school days and lived a life of lean, healthy fun or packed it all in when 16 struck and had more of a lean towards couch life, interspersed with going to the pub on a Friday.  The only regular exercise being the walk to and stumble back from said pub.

When I got to 39 I had a bit of an epiphany and realised I had treated my body more like a chemical testing site than a temple.  So filled with toxins and bad ideas was I that my inner voice didn't so much as whisper in my ear, but more like took a cudgel to my head beat me with it for several hours, locked me in a cellar and refused me exit until I signed on an ethereal contract to take better care of me.  The main reason why I signed was the options (1) don't sign, get dead (2) sign and live.  Being gifted with a little foresight and knowing being entombed in soil was not my first option of things on my bucket list, I opted to sign.

You would think it was easy to get fit.  Stop eating bad stuff, stop drinking alcohol in amounts that could submerge small villages in India and move about a bit, oh and drugs are a huge no, no on the healthy side.  So, off I set to make my dilapidated, run down and unloved insides into a healthy one.  Not as easy as it first appears, for within the realms of fitness are many, many fascists.  Food fascists being huge on my 'If I learn to use a sniper rifle like an SAS crackshot, these are the people I will practise on" inventory of things to do. 

First off I thought to cleanse my toxic soul I would become a raw foodist.  Again, simple, you eat raw fruits and veggies and get all healthy.  Oh, but are you eating the right fruit and veggies?  Did you sneak cooked rice in?  You will be damned to an eternal hell of pokey up the bum with hot iron girders if you do that.  You took supplements?  Fucking half wit.   The endless myriad of people giving you their opinions on how it HAS to be done.  Remember, if you go raw you also have to save the planet, stop whaling, remove the threat of deforestation, become part of some strange underground movements and most of all hate all people that are not raw foodists for they are to be cleansed from society.  I will add here that it is a fantastic lifestyle if you ignore the people shoving righteousness down your gullet at every turn, but like the fickle fart I am, sticking to this lifestyle was not happening and I fell off this wagon and stayed on the floor longer than riding to health.

I got off the raw food bus at the next stop and took a taxi to Vegan way.  Hey, I've read The ChinaStudy and new exactly what life, the universe and everything meant.  I knew all the answers to food, my body and staying as lean as someone from a small village near Nanchang.  My journey carried on for another couple of years, but, strangely weight loss didn't.  If there were a cup for "Finder Of All The Bad Stuff Vegans Can Eat" I would have been a double winner! 

Certainly not all by a long chalk but way too many vegans put themselves on strange little self made pedestals claiming their righteousness, whilst at the same time making people look at mutilated animal pictures, regaling tales of depravity and vileness.  Strange but the A.L.F (animal liberation front not cute alien) seem OK with bombing Universities, mail bombing people, burning down business and much much, because, hey, as my Nana used to say "that'll learn you!". 

Personally, when I believe in something I feel it is a choice made by me, for me and not to be rammed down the throats of people who are not doing the same.  If this is not how life is meant to be then, anyone not putting huge bundles of cash into my bank account each week are all to be put against the wall and beaten to death with the flicky end of beetroots.

Realising I didn't want to be an "ist" or be into any "isms".  Deciding my life was to be lived by me, my thoughts, words and deeds, I took on a new eating style.  It's called the "whatever the fuck you want just don't be stupid with it and wheat is evil" diet.  Since adopting this style I have dropped 10 kilos.

The moral of this story is, don't be bullied into eating a healthy choice because it is done by a gazillion people.  Eat a healthy choice that works for you, that you can stick with, that makes you happy and that no one is making YouTube videos about in which they denounce all others as being food of the antichrist. Not hatin' just sayin'.

With love and oranges.

Me x